Tips and Tricks for Travelling with Covid 19 Stalking You

 

The tall Australian blonde approaching from15 ft away is undeniably attractive, a little smile starts to form involuntarily on my face, until her nose scrunches up, her eyes close and her right hand begins to move towards her face. Normally faced with someone about to sneeze I would prepare a “Gesundheit” response once the convulsion is over. Not today. With COVID-19 firmly on my mind, I ignore the towering beauty and search for safe harbour 90 degrees to her path of travel. By the time I hear a muffled sneeze behind me I am perpendicular to her direction of travel rapidly moving away. Did I just avoid an infection? Was I rude? Did the mystery Auzzie feel self conscious of her simple human act? Is she a COVID supervector, or just reliving a tickly allergy reaction? It doesn’t matter. She pulled out a weapon, and I sought cover. It doesn’t matter if the weapon is loaded or not. 

I’m reminded of the “duck and cover” drills conducted in the 60’s as a pretty pointless way to feel like you had some control over your safety during a nuclear attack. It feels like COVID-19 would be chuckling at me cowering under my desk as it hovers menacingly above the mere mortals trying not to be noticed. 

There are ways to feel normal while travelling with COVID-19, and here is a short list that may help you when you are finally released from your home to explore the amazing planet we call home. Cold's, flu’s, Noro and other miscellaneous viruses will always be lurking in your path as you travel. These tips are some things you have heard before, and some that were new to me that I rarely see practiced. 

*Disclaimer - I am not a Doctor. I am not an expert. I am COVID free, but so are millions upon millions. Take or leave my advice with those contexts in mind. 

The “Duh” List - Virus Avoidance 101

Wash Your Hands - We’ve all heard this one. 20 seconds or more (sing Happy Birthday in your head, doing it out loud does create laughter in the washrooms however). Use the water as hot as possible. If you are faced with one of those terrible “auto on” taps in a public washroom that never ever seems hot, add a spritz of hand sanitizer post washing to double down on the prophylactic attempt. 

Cover Your Sneeze or Cough - Sneezing into your hands is just gross. I haven’t done that in a long time, unless I am already in the shower. Use a Kleenex, carry a handkerchief (My Grandpa always had one on hand, lived well into his 80’s, you decide if that played a role), or use your elbow as has been so often suggested. Whatever you do, don’t use your hands, but use something! Diane hates it when I use her elbow. Something about personal space, I dunno. 

Use the Provided Hand Sanitizer - Whenever confronted with a public container of hand sanitizer, use it. They know something you perhaps don’t. Public hand sanitizer dispensers scream "This place harbours germs, and despite our best attempts to clean it, you people are dirty virus vectors and we can’t always keep up, so help yourself first.” 

The “This Thing Could Be Real” Virus Avoidance 201

Dry Your Hands - Avoid the air based hand dryers. https://bit.ly/2J6sOEa will tell you why, but “fecal plume” is a pretty solid reason if you ask me. Use the paper towels, and deposit into a trash bin. Never, I mean never, attempt to flush a hand towel. They are literally not made for that purpose. That people fail to understand that ONLY toilet paper is meant to disintegrate when it hits water so it can be processed by both the pipes and the follow on sewage system, is amazing to me. You’ve all seen the signs - don’t flush the hand dry paper, so just don’t already. It is the rampant plugging of toilets that have pushed many public operators (especially in Australia) to remove paper as a hand drying option. Faced with zero paper options, I have chosen to air dry*, and then supplement with hand sanitizer. 

(*waves arms about like a last place competitive flamingo dancer)

Open The Door - Your hands are now either dry, or drying. You want to exit the toilet. 99.99% of door designs for toilets are push to enter and pull to exit. Who the fuck designs these things? It should be the opposite. I want to put my shoulder into the door and exit with my hands in the “I’m ready for surgery, pass the scalpel” position. Since what I want is not broadly known (thus this blog) we have to deal with the world as we find it. Here are the options I have practiced:

1. Wait: Some poor sucker also has a full bladder. Let him open the door. 
2. Doddle: You are often not alone in the public bathroom. Let buddy #2 take the fecal load on the door handle. 
3. Push the Button: If you are lucky enough to be in a fancy handicap accessible shitter, hip check that button. 
4. Pre-Plan: Before you go to wash your hands (while they are still dry) grab some toilet paper (or a clean piece of hand towel if available) and place into your pocket. Post washing and actual or attempted drying, grab that piece and use it to touch the handle on the way out. 
5. Just had to pee. Someone in the only stall. Hand dryers only: This is the Rubiks cube of dilemmas. In this case option 1 and 2 above are open to you. But if you have a bus/plane/wife that won’t wait, reach for the most unusual spot on the door to open it. I’ve used the bottom inside loop of a curved handle, the actual locking mechanism, or an exposed top of door. Ultimately the poorest option, but viable. Avoid the main grip point that people who have not graduated from Avoidance 101 would use. Freshmen, such losers. 

Selecting a Table - Restaurant, Coffee Shop, etc.  - The hostess asks you about your day as she politely points out a table for 2 between two full tables of 4. Your reaction to this obvious death sentence will set the tone for how much spit ends up in your food. Asking her if she knows anything about social distancing at the top of your lungs is a bit too "on the nose" for me. Diane and I chose to turn around and ask if that table way way over there in the obviously closed section would be better, while simultaneously simply walking towards the more isolated table. “We would prefer some social distance.” Is a more polite way of educating, and asserting your best interests without being “too American” (who does he think American’s are anyway…). Long story short - don’t sit next to a hive of strangers if you can avoid it. 

Walking in Public - Inevitably the scenario that opened this blog will occur. You will be in proximity to people as you travel on foot. The key is to leave lots of time. If you are in a rush, pushing through crowds on the street or in the airport becomes the norm. If you have time, you are the rock, and the river swirls around you. By having time you can slow down and hold that gap in the crowd that just opened up. You can stop and wait for an opening. In short, by giving yourself time, you give yourself flexibility to deal with the tactical situation as it develops. Try and hold 6 ft around you at all times, and don’t be embarrassed to pull over, wait for a gap, and pick the pace back up. Like the best motorcyclists know - have an exit at all times. Never box yourself into one track with no way of changing your mind and making a turn to avoid an incoming hoard of sneezing children, or tall Aussie blonds.

Where to sit at the Airport - Similar to both suggestions above, choose seating in an open area. It does NOT have to be at your gate. You are a smart person, hell you are about to graduate to the 301 class, you can wait till your appointed loading time at the empty gate, no one will mind. 

Virus Avoidance 301 - “I’ve Got This” Level

Your Hotel Room - Of course it is clean. Of course it is. Diane was about to pack a Costco size Lysol wipe container when weight and space restrictions changed that to a large ziplock back of wipes. They are almost gone. We have been using them all over the place. Hitting the high touch points of your room - toilet handles, door handles, bathroom handles, sink handles, light switches, etc. is a good way to knock out some of the more likely vector points surrounding you. Clean linens should deal with the bed. In short - treat the room like a larger version of your airplane seat.  

Your Airplane Seat - Having those Lysol wipes noted above are most handy as you sit down. Hit the arm rests, headrests, the latch that closes the tray, the tray - both sides, the screen, and most critically - both ends of the seatbelt latch, including the underside of the device where you flip it open. The seatbelt is the one thing that EVERYONE has to touch when they fly. 

Grabbing Tongs or Spoons at the Buffet - The hotel offers a “free buffet” breakfast. Cool. They naturally put out tongs so no one has to touch the other guys food as they pick up their slice of mango. SO WE ALL TOUCH THE TONGS. This was pointed out to me by Tyler Mosher, former Para-lympic Athlete. He noted that the last thing you wanted to do 2 or 3 days before you had to perform was to catch a cold. So he never touches the tongs. He finds a clean napkin, and using the napkin as a glove, accesses the tongs in a very clean way. Brilliant. See example photo from Sydney below. We have adopted this for all group food collection items such as tongs or spoons.  

Wearing a Mask - Should you wear a mask? There are lots of opinions on this, and we have decided to wear masks when we arrive home as a precaution for others (catching our sneeze or cough), but not as preventative for us. We would need proper fitted masks, and we don’t have access to them normally, and certainly not at the moment. 

There are experts out there who have other ideas and best practices, please share them! As noted above, I am not an expert, but an expert in training. So those of you who are immunocompromised and who have to deal with this stuff on a day to day basis, COVID or not, please chime in via the comments below with smarter and more useful thoughts than I was able to come up with!

Stay safe out there folks! 

Blessings, 

Dwayne from Cairns Australia

(Home of not one damn paper towel)